Hey yall and Happy Wednesday!! Hope everyone is doing well tonight and if not then I hope it gets better. Tonight I’m going to talk about struggles, how they affect us and how we can overcome them so let’s get to it!!

Everybody struggles with something at some point in life. Whether it be financial problems, relationships with family, friends or significant others, school, body image or whatever…we all struggle sometimes. And though we all struggle, we all have different ways that we deal with them and how we overcome them. Some people deal with their struggles by using coping mechanisms such as alcohol and/ or drugs to mask their pain and forget about whatever they are going through. Others use therapy, or they turn to God and their faith to see them through.

But how do struggles affect us? For me, I know that I absolutely hate struggling with anything. Whether it’s something big or small, I hate having a hard time with anything. And because I think I’m Superwoman, I rarely admit my struggles or reach out to others for help. So I suffer through unnecessarily and it wears me out both physically and mentally. But guess what, I don’t have to be that way and neither do you!! It’s ok to admit when we are having a hard time with something or someone. It’s perfectly ok to even admit defeat sometimes. There is NO need to drive yourself crazy trying to do everything on your own…..let me repeat that for the people in the back including myself, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN. When you surround yourself with people that love and genuinely care about your well being, they will always be there to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Dealing with and overcoming our struggles can be difficult sometimes depending on what the particular struggle is. People who struggle with alcoholism and/or drug and other addictions may have a harder time overcoming than someone who may be struggling financially. But a struggle is a struggle and they can all be overcome. The 1st step to overcoming is admitting to whatever you are struggling with. For me, my biggest struggles normally come from things that I get myself into such as saying no to people, adding unnecessary stress to my life and not taking out time for myself. Normally these things are hard for me to admit to because I never want to say no to anyone. But because of that I neglect myself a lot and add a lot of pressure and extra stress on myself, But now that I admit it, I know to take the 2nd step to fix it which is to try and eliminate the factors that lead to your struggles. For me that’s meant eliminating some people out of my life because all they did was take and take and take everything that I offered as a whoever I was in their life but they never gave anything. No respect, no love, no positivity…no nothing. So eliminate those things. If you struggle with alcoholism for example, start eliminating the alcohol from your life. Don’t go to places where you know you will be tempted to drink. The 3rd step is to surround yourself with positive people who you trust and know what you are going through and are willing to help you. You are not in this world all alone no matter what you think or believe. Even if God is the only person in your life, surround yourself in Him and His love and let him in to help you overcome.

Life does not have to be a constant struggle. Truth be told, a lot of things that we struggle with we bring upon ourselves and they can be avoided. We can make life easier then what it is a lot of the time but as humans it’s in our nature to make things difficult sometimes, Whatever you are struggling with, give it to the Most High. Turn it over to God. I’ve done it before and could literally feel the weights being lifted off of my shoulders. The old song says Jesus can work it out. No truer words have ever been spoken. Struggling does not have to be a part of your life forever. Identify them, admit them, eliminate the factors contributing to them, pray about them and give them to God. Once you truly give them to God, no worries and no stress, just truly believe that he will handle them.

Well that’s it for me tonight, I hope that this can touch someone who is or has struggled and didn’t know how to handle it. I wish you all nothing but the best. Remember to INSPIRE, ENLIGHTEN, AND ENCOURAGE SOMEONE along your journey. And as usual feel free to comment and share with others. I LOVE hearing from yall and it motivates me to keep going. Remember somebody out there loves you and so do I. Lots of cyber hugs and kisses….

 

Peace and Blessing to you,

Tiara B.

I’m Baaaaccckkkk!!! Hey y’all and happy Wednesday!! I missed you guys on last week, but I had to take a little time to get my mind together. You all deserve the best of me so I had to get myself together to get back to it. Now let’s talk about happiness.

Happiness…what makes you happy?? Are you doing what makes you happy?? Are you making yourself happy?? Often times in our lives, the answer to these questions may seem like YES when it’s really NO. YES we are making others happy, but NO we aren’t making ourselves happy. YES we are doing good or even great thing but NO we aren’t happy doing them. And I think we are all guilty of letting others dictate our happiness at some point in our lives, whether it be family, friends, significant others or in some cases all 3. But what about YOU?? If you aren’t making yourself happy then how can anyone or anything else??

It has taken me 29 years to get to a truly happy place in my life. Graduating from college didn’t make me happy, getting my job didn’t make me happy and having someone special in my life didn’t make me happy either. Finally being at peace with myself has bought me happiness beyond measure, For most of my life, I have put other people and their feelings and happiness above my own. No one could be sad or disappointed on my watch. I had to make everyone’s day better and brighter. But me and my day….we were dark and gloomy. I was never satisfied, I was always searching for something. I never realized until 1 day my friend and also my therapist asked me, what makes Tiara happy?? Not what Tiara like to do, not my hobbies, not what I do for others…but what actually makes me happy??  And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t answer that question.

Happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from finding peace within your heart and your soul. Happiness is even when the world around you is falling apart, you still find yourself feeling an unexplainable peace. Sometimes it takes years to find that within ourselves. For me, I wasted years searching for happiness in people. I searched for MY very own happiness in boyfriends, family, friends and any other people in my life. Because I was unhappy with myself for different reasons, I found myself feeding off of others. I celebrated their wins while wishing they were my own, not realizing that I too was winning and just couldn’t see it.

It ultimately came down to craving peace in my life. While seeking that peace, I sought out my happiness as well. YES it meant that I had to step away from some friendships and relationships because I needed inner peace to be truly happy. I had to spend some deep time with myself, meditating and soul searching…finally getting to know myself. But baby when I did find it, I felt better than I had in years.

If you truly want to be happy, do what is necessary for you. Set goals for yourself and achieve them. Remove negative people from your life and remove yourself from negative situations. Allow yourself to be happy. Stop putting others 1st in your life, be all about you and make sure you are OK 1st (talking to myself too). Live your life for you and without any regrets. Life is extremely short and it is full of ups and downs. Take every chance that you get to do something that makes you feel good. Find what makes you happy in life, hold on to it and never let go, only add to it. Remember, only you can make yourself truly happy before anyone else ever can.

Well that’s it for this week. As usual please like, comment and share with others. Remember to inspire, enlighten  and encourage someone along your journey. Someone out here loves you and so do I. Lots of cyber hugs and kisses. Until next week….

Tiara B.