Hey Yall and Happiest of Wednesdays to you!! So this evening I want to start part 1 of a 3 part series called Love Yourself Love. Pt.1 is going to touch on loving your body. So let’s jump right in. For those of you who don’t know, I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life. I’ve always been what you would consider thick and not in the “she got booty and thighs for days” way. Well actually I do have thighs for days but yall get my point lol.
As a little girl, my mama had to shop for me in the girl’s plus section. Then it moved to the double digits as a pre-teen. Even with just a small pudge for a tummy in high school, I was still 1 of the bigger girls and because of that I picked up some pretty horrible eating habits. Teenager Tiara never really had an issue with her weight BUT college Tiara did. Most people say when you go to college you gain the “Freshman 15” HA!! Between my freshman year and senior year in college, I gained about 50 pounds!! And talk about someone in serious denial. It actually got to the point that every semester I would spend a portion on my refund check buying new jeans and shirts because I was outgrowing my old 1s so quickly but I was still in denial.
It wasn’t until after I graduated from college and dealt with a bout of depression that I began to realize that I was not only neglecting my mental and spiritual health, but my physical health also. And in realizing that, I also realized that I had developed horrible eating habits and a borderline eating disorder. I was only eating 1 meal per day thinking that if I basically cutback on my food intake, the weight would just fall off. WRONG!! I was actually gaining more weight because I was pretty much starving myself. And by doing so I was NOT loving my body at all.
Some of my very good friends from college started on fitness challenges and fitness journeys and encouraged me to join them. I joined a gym in Feb. 2016 and went from NEVER working out to working out 2 to 3 times a week. I also went from 1 HUGE unhealthy meal a day to 3 healthy ones and healthy snacks a day. My results were amazing. I was so proud to be able to finally feel confidence in myself. To stop hiding my body behind too big clothes and to start coming out of my shell. By Feb. 2017 my body was looking better and I was feeling the best that I had in years. So end of story right?? WRONG!!
Sometime around the Summer of 2017, I fell off the wagon cold turkey. I had a lot going on in my personal life as well as at work and I just stopped loving Tiara. Everything else came 1st before working out and I stopped going to the gym. It started as missing 1 day then it lead up to missing 1 week to 1 month. Next thing I knew, an entire year had passed by and I had yet to see the inside of the gym. I mean I was still paying my membership every month but driving right past it to go to Dairy Queen when I needed a pick me up blizzard. I let myself go so bad. I had cut all of my hair off, I stopped going to the nail shop and I started eating in and everything that I wanted. A slice of cake once a month became a slice of cake once a week. My friends and I had a girl’s trip to Jamaica planned for July and I would tell myself EVERY month that if I started that month I could lose X amount of pounds before our trip….never happened. I ate right and went walking twice for 1 month and lost about 10 pounds which was only water weight to begin with. But I didn’t care.
It wasn’t until I started ordering outfits for our trip that the blinders finally came off. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. How could the woman that had gone down a size go up a size in a half? And then it hit me….I STOPPED LOVING MYSELF. I stopped loving and taking care of the most precious gift that GOD has ever given me, my body. I stopped telling myself that I was beautiful. I stopped treating myself like the Queen that I am. I completely took advantage of my own self physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I shared my story with you all to say this….NEVER, EVER STOP LOVING YOURSELF. Your body is God’s gift to you. Love your body by taking care of it. Treat your body with the upmost respect. Be cautious and even picky about the things that you allow into your body whether it be by eating, through sex or even your mental consumption. You only get 1 physical body in this lifetime, cherish it. If you want to lose weight and begin a healthier lifestyle, it is NEVER too late to start. I’m starting all over again after a year’s hiatus but I’m excited about having another chance to show myself the love that I should have always shown it. ALWAYS treat your body better than you would want anyone else to. How can you expect anyone else to love your body if you don’t?? Self Love is not selfish love, it is just your personal love for your entire self. Your body truly is your temple. LOVE it and treat it well and it will do the same for you in return. There is nothing wrong with eating healthy and exercising NO matter what size you are. You do whatever you have to in order to LOVE YOURSELF LOVE.
Well that’s all for part 1. Thank you all for reading and please feel free to share and leave a comment, I love hearing from yall. As always, somebody out there loves you and so do I. Let’s continue to INSPIRE, ENLIGHTEN AND ENCOURAGE each other. Lots of cyber hugs and kisses……
Tiara B.
Young, Black and Beautiful 