Hey y’all and welcome back!! Hope everyone is doing great and if not then I hope and pray things get better. So tonight I want to talk about being good enough. Often times we question whether we are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough…etc. I know firsthand how this feels because it’s something that I’ve struggled with my entire life. Growing up, I always wanted to be perfect. Have the perfect body and hair. Be the perfect friend and child. Even be the perfect student. But what I didn’t understand is that there is no perfect being that walks this Earth.

When things went wrong and I made even the smallest mistakes, I would panic and then the insecurities would set in.  How could I make a mistake and why was I not good enough? Why could I not be small enough to fit in the regular size clothes? Why could I not make a perfect 100 on my test? Why could I not be the best friend that everyone needs? And while on this quest for pure perfection, I didn’t realize that I was taking myself thru 1 hell of a fight inside.

While I strived so hard to be good enough in everyone else’s eyes, I kept beating myself up because the me as I am was not enough. Let me break it down, while I was trying to be Supergirl and Superwoman to the world, I was my own arch nemesis.  I dragged myself thru the ringer trying to be good enough for everyone else BUT I wasn’t good enough to my number 1, Tiara. Once I began to love myself more and more, I realized that how I came off to everyone else was not important, how I come off to myself and God are what matters most.

Even now I often times struggle with being seen as good enough. Even with my family and friends whom I’ve known my whole life. Even with my co-workers and clients. Even with perfect strangers, I worry will I be good enough in whatever capacity that I serve in their life. But guess what?? That’s perfectly normal and OK. It’s OK to want to put your best foot forward and make good impressions on people. It’s OK to have high expectations for yourself. It’s OK to want to be seen in a certain image. BUT it’s not OK to push yourself past your limits based on how others will perceive you.

You ARE good enough!! You ARE pretty enough!! You ARE smart enough!! You ARE enough!! As long as you see all these things in yourself, that’s ALL that matters. And if there are people in your life that do not appreciate you for the beautiful soul that you are, then they are not worthy to be in your life. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat after me….ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH. I AM BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ANYONE AND IF I’M NOT THAN THEY AREN’T ENOUGH FOR ME!!

Alright, that’s it for me until next week. As always thanks for reading and remember to inspire, encourage, and enlighten someone as well as yourself!! Someone out there loves you and so do I. Lots of cyber hugs and kisses…

Tiara B.

Hey y’all!! So today wasn’t a good day…at all. 1st I spilled coffee all over my desk, I have heat rash on both my arms and can’t stop scratching, I couldn’t finish something that I’ve been working on for 2 weeks all because 1 person wasn’t cooperating and then I had a bad case of writer’s block….all of this before 9am. When I say I wanted to just give up and throw the WHOLE day away, that’s exactly what I mean!! I had the mindset during my hour commute this morning that it’s Wednesday, Hump Day which means Friday will be here before you know it. Football season is about to start and I got to listen to Bernice Jenkins’ Church Announcements before clocking in early this morning, life was going GREAT…..then BOOM!!

These may seem like small problems, nothing that some Clorox wipes, some shea butter and a few detailed emails with screenshots can’t solve and you’re absolutely right because that’s all it took. But for me these were frustrations that threw my whole day off because I’m an odd ball lol. EVERYTHING has to be going right for me to be able to function at 100%. So today I just wasn’t feeling it.  I wanted to call it quits about 100 times today but I didn’t.  In life, I’ve discovered that you CANNOT GIVE  UP when things get hard, you have to KEEP GOING. Life ain’t supposed to be easy, but the challenges are supposed to make us stronger. Giving up is NOT an option. Imagine if every time you ate an ice cream cone, you dropped some on your shirt. Would you give up ice cream? NO, HECK NO for me lol!! You would just eat that ice cream in a cup or find an old shirt to put on.

Life is not going to be easy. There are going to be ups and downs, wins and losses. How you handle those things is what matters. Life for me has been filled with losses, but I had to learn how to spin those losses into wins and lessons. That what it’s all about, wins and lessons learned. Actually I don’t even consider them losses anymore, they are valued lifelong lessons. You can’t just stop living because life has gotten hard. My mom passed a few days after I was born. That has always been the biggest loss in my life and YES I’ve always struggled with it, especially having guilt about it. It took me years to learn that I am among the living and my life has to go on. What better way to go on than to honor my mom and let her and her memories and legacy live on through me??

Some of you may be struggling because your body isn’t perfect, that’s 1 of my struggles too. Don’t give up on working out and a healthy lifestyle (shouting this 1 to myself). Some may be struggling with self confidence, girl look in that mirror and speak affirmations to yourself. You are BEAUTIFUL! You are IMPORTANT! You MATTER! You are ENOUGH! (runs to find my mirror). Whatever it is that has you wanting to give up, GET OVER IT! Climb over that self-doubt. Climb over that not perfect syndrome. Live your life for you and if you aren’t good enough for yourself, do what you have to do to become enough. NEVER NEVER NEVER, EVER EVER EVER  GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!! You are too beautiful and you have too much purpose in this life to give up. Keep pushing and fighting. You are going to fall, you may even fail but as Aaliyah said “If at 1st you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again”.

As always…encourage, inspire and enlighten others. Someone out there loves you and I do too. Until next week….. lots of cyber hugs and kisses,

Tiara B.

 

Hey Y’all and welcome back to Young, Black and Beautiful!! So today I want to encourage you to be your own #WCW. In today’s era of Social Media, most if not all women want to be the coveted Woman Crush Wednesday. Whether it be acknowledged by your boo, your crush, your favorite blogger or whomever, being someone’s #WCW is LIT!! But ask yourself this, are you your own #WCW material? Meaning, do you have a crush on yourself? Would you have a crush on yourself if you where someone else?

When you see your crush , what’s the 1st thing that draws you to them? For me, 1 of the 1st things I notice about a guy is the way that he carries himself. From the way he wears his clothes to his mannerisms, appearance is a biggie. Now ask yourself, how do you carry and present yourself to others? My mama and I’m sure most of yours too has always instilled in me that 1st impressions are how people remember you most. OK, let me break it down. Would a person still be your crush is they didn’t care about their appearance? Umm NO!! So in order to be your own #WCW, you must 1st be presentable to yourself before you can be presentable to others! Leave them bonnets and PJ pants at home, find you some clothes that flatter your shape and fit right and baby work it like you on a runway lol!! Look, I’ve always been a fluffy girl so I have struggled with body image and finding flattering clothes in my size for 29 years, but it can be done! I’m not saying that you have to wear heels and dresses everyday, shoot I barely wear them on Sundays. What I am saying though is that you have to be presentable when in public. Whether its sweatpants and a hoodie, jeans and a t-shirt, or your Sunday’s best, your attire and appearance are a direct reflection of you. You don’t have to keep up the latest fashions, hair do, nails, or makeup but you don’t have to always look like you just woke up and threw on the 1st thing you found either.  

Once you’ve taken care of your outward appearance, focus on yourself internally. Are you #WCW material on the inside? Do you treat yourself the way you would want your crush to treat you? Listen, I know for a 100% fact that NOBODY in this world is going to love and treat Tiara better than I can. And by loving myself, I mean physically, mentally and emotionally. I have learned that you have to love your mind, body and soul. Don’t we all want somebody to love, cherish and honor us? Whether it be our families, friends, significant others or whomever, we all want to feel the love. But do we give ourselves the love? Ladies, when we love…we love HARD. We are nurturers by nature, but do we nurture ourselves? I will be the 1st to admit that I haven’t always loved myself, and believe me…it showed. But once I learned that nobody was gonna love me like me, I got myself right on together. We also have to be mindful to not just love our physical bodies, but love your mind and spirit as well. Take care of yourself in all those areas and watch how much you grow and how much more beautiful you become. Once you start loving yourself, you will look and feel so much better.

There are so many attributes that can make a woman a #WCW candidate. And each woman is different. I may posses something that my best friend or co-worker doesn’t and vice versa but we are both equally beautiful. It doesn’t matter if you never make anyone else’s #WCW post as long as you are your own EVERY DAY. Babe, love yourself first. I know it sounds cliché and you maybe thinking that’s easy for me to say but trust me, I’ve been there. I was the chick that was just a real life zombie everyday and couldn’t even recognize myself in the mirror until 1 day I told myself I was beautiful. Others could say it and it meant nothing to me until I told myself. I’ve never had a #WCW post dedicated to me but today I dedicate mine to each and every one of you reading this. Sweetheart, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT. Be the beautiful woman that you want everyone to be able to see. Love and cherish yourself mind, body and soul. Treat yourself like you are your own crush and love on yourself daily. As always lots of cyber hugs and kisses. Somebody out here loves and cares for you and I do too. Until next week, empower, encourage and inspire yourself and others.

 

XOXOXO,

Tiara B.